OK, so have camped a bit now (not very much by some standards) and have some comments. Also of interest is that my brother and I approached it from a bit different directions, his because he had a friend at REI so got discounted stuff.
I went the cheaper route and he started with a bit higher end stuff. I also started out with the idea that I could carry duffels so did not concentrate on packing smaller. I have since changed to where I like to have everything (or almost everything) in my hard cases so have started getting stuff that is smaller (and is a bit more expensive ).
My priority was the 4 person tent at least 40" high with a vestibule area. He has a 3 person that is a bit lower. He will be upgrading soon to a 4 person for the extra height and room. As others have noted, get a tent with a rain fly that goes all the way to the ground. Even under some pretty wet conditions our tents stayed dry. I will keep my tent as long as it lasts (Kelty, got it on sale for $70).
I also went a bit cheap with a blue plastic tarp instead of a commercial foot print. It worked really well, but, was also a bit bulky. I upgraded to a regular foot print and it works just as well and is a lot smaller.
I started with an air bed. It was great and very comfortable, but, big and heavy, especially since the air pump is a necessity. It was also cheap (you'll hear that a lot ). I changed for the old army surplus insulated air mattress. It is not as comfortable, but, I can still sleep on my side with it easily. Still a bit bulky but have not found another mattress as 'thick', especially at the price ($40). They are getting hard to find.
Brother went with a Big Agnes mattress of the thickest and largest size (still thinner than my surplus version). He likes it but it is noisy. He sleeps on his back so it works well for him.
I also tried out the exped "bag pump" for inflating the bag. It worked really well. I'd recommend it for anyone who has trouble blowing up their air mattress with their lungs. I only had to top off the mattress with my lungs.
Sleeping bags. I started with a cheap one. It worked really well, but, it was bulky. So I got a smaller one. Mine is a Teton and brother's is a Big Agnes, both rated for 40F. We both found out that they are marginal below 50F. Adding a liner helps, but, still needed to sleep in a few layers of clothes when the temp got down in the mid 40's. We are both considering second bags rated to the 20F range so we can stay comfortable. That will double the bulk of the bag but is worth it in comfort.
Chairs. My brother does not carry one for two reasons. His tent is too small for one to work inside and outside there has always been a picnic table to sit at. I had a Pico type that was really comfortable, but, was a bit big to fit in my tent and would not pack in any of my cases. So, I added the REI Flex-Lite to my load. Packs small and fits nicely in my bags. It is also just about perfect inside my tent. I use it for reading and just lounging, especially if it is raining outside. I still carry the Pico if I know I won't have a picnic table to use outside.
Stoves. We do cook our evening meals, usually the freeze dried stuff (also make coffee in the mornings). I went with the small MSR. It fits inside my coffee cup and works pretty well. I have not needed a wind shield with it, but, can see cases where you might want to have one. Brother has the Jetboil system (the aluminum version). It is really nice and boils water almost twice as fast. Also costs a lot more. I like my choice and he likes his.
Lights. Headlights. I have a cheap Coleman that has worked great. Even using it almost all evening the batteries have held up for about two weeks of camping.
That's about it.
So, you can go really cheap and it works, just takes up more room and is heavier.
I went the cheaper route and he started with a bit higher end stuff. I also started out with the idea that I could carry duffels so did not concentrate on packing smaller. I have since changed to where I like to have everything (or almost everything) in my hard cases so have started getting stuff that is smaller (and is a bit more expensive ).
My priority was the 4 person tent at least 40" high with a vestibule area. He has a 3 person that is a bit lower. He will be upgrading soon to a 4 person for the extra height and room. As others have noted, get a tent with a rain fly that goes all the way to the ground. Even under some pretty wet conditions our tents stayed dry. I will keep my tent as long as it lasts (Kelty, got it on sale for $70).
I also went a bit cheap with a blue plastic tarp instead of a commercial foot print. It worked really well, but, was also a bit bulky. I upgraded to a regular foot print and it works just as well and is a lot smaller.
I started with an air bed. It was great and very comfortable, but, big and heavy, especially since the air pump is a necessity. It was also cheap (you'll hear that a lot ). I changed for the old army surplus insulated air mattress. It is not as comfortable, but, I can still sleep on my side with it easily. Still a bit bulky but have not found another mattress as 'thick', especially at the price ($40). They are getting hard to find.
Brother went with a Big Agnes mattress of the thickest and largest size (still thinner than my surplus version). He likes it but it is noisy. He sleeps on his back so it works well for him.
I also tried out the exped "bag pump" for inflating the bag. It worked really well. I'd recommend it for anyone who has trouble blowing up their air mattress with their lungs. I only had to top off the mattress with my lungs.
Sleeping bags. I started with a cheap one. It worked really well, but, it was bulky. So I got a smaller one. Mine is a Teton and brother's is a Big Agnes, both rated for 40F. We both found out that they are marginal below 50F. Adding a liner helps, but, still needed to sleep in a few layers of clothes when the temp got down in the mid 40's. We are both considering second bags rated to the 20F range so we can stay comfortable. That will double the bulk of the bag but is worth it in comfort.
Chairs. My brother does not carry one for two reasons. His tent is too small for one to work inside and outside there has always been a picnic table to sit at. I had a Pico type that was really comfortable, but, was a bit big to fit in my tent and would not pack in any of my cases. So, I added the REI Flex-Lite to my load. Packs small and fits nicely in my bags. It is also just about perfect inside my tent. I use it for reading and just lounging, especially if it is raining outside. I still carry the Pico if I know I won't have a picnic table to use outside.
Stoves. We do cook our evening meals, usually the freeze dried stuff (also make coffee in the mornings). I went with the small MSR. It fits inside my coffee cup and works pretty well. I have not needed a wind shield with it, but, can see cases where you might want to have one. Brother has the Jetboil system (the aluminum version). It is really nice and boils water almost twice as fast. Also costs a lot more. I like my choice and he likes his.
Lights. Headlights. I have a cheap Coleman that has worked great. Even using it almost all evening the batteries have held up for about two weeks of camping.
That's about it.
So, you can go really cheap and it works, just takes up more room and is heavier.