Changes go on...

[Phil Tarman]

Yesterday we had Joanne's funeral, complete with a beautiful flower arrangement from NT-Owners.org. I want to thank all of you who supported that gift and all of you who have supported me with thoughts and prayers.

Today I was pre-registering for a doctor's appointment next week and had to change my marital status from "married" to "single, divorced or widowed." I know that there are going to be many, many more changes coming. But as my long-time dead friend, Julian of Norwich (a medieval mystic) says, "All shall be well."

 

[RedNigel]

Turn the page...

 

[Coyote Chris]

Yesterday we had Joanne's funeral, complete with a beautiful flower arrangement from NT-Owners.org. I want to thank all of you who supported that gift and all of you who have supported me with thoughts and prayers.

Today I was pre-registering for a doctor's appointment next week and had to change my marital status from "married" to "single, divorced or widowed." I know that there are going to be many, many more changes coming. But as my long-time dead friend, Julian of Norwich (a medieval mystic) says, "All shall be well."

I am so sorry, Phil. I just got back from the Reno Air Races (2 dead pilots this year) and was playing hard ball catchup when one of our dogs was badly injured 2 days ago (she will live) and her personal needed level of care has sucked off all my time. Then today Jungle Jim was kind enough to email me.... As if the grief isnt bad enough, there is all that paperwork. Watching my friends have to go through all of this makes me want to go first.....I am so sorry....

 

[Phil Tarman]

Thanks, Chris. I'll be OK. I'm relieved not to have to watch Joanne suffer.

 

[DirtFlier]

Be thankful for the times you had together but gradually and respectfully move on with your life.

 

[Phil Tarman]

I'm very grateful for the 24 yrs we were married. The last year has been difficult but it doesn't hold a candle to the 23 we had before. I've got a picture of Joanne from the day we were married that is on my coffee table right in front of me that reminds me of who she was and what we had together. I think I have been moving on over the last four months. I'm actually doing well, I think, especially since I began to be able to sleep during the last week.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts and concern.

 

[Coyote Chris]

Thanks, Chris. I'll be OK. I'm relieved not to have to watch Joanne suffer.

I actually know that feeling.....There was relief and sadness when I lost my first wife.....while a dog can not be compared to a wife, I had to spend most of the last 12 months careing for a dog that lost its mind and most of its body.....and my partner has done that to me before.
In the last few weeks, I almost lost a friend to complications with a kidney transplant, I lost two pilots...and so many friends have serious issues......loosing one to covid 6 months ago hurt too. I am trying to take out as many dying trees as I can before the snows hit.....and all the other work...while taking care of a K9 that ripped the skin off of one leg from knee to elbow while my partner is away on the dog show circuit.....and fire season isnt over yet....
I feel for you and am glad you arre doing as well as can be expected. I am having a tough time as usual dealing with the fact that the periods of night are now longer than the periods of day....
The icing on the cake is that when we needed our vet to help our dog, she said there was a concensus at the practice and they no longer want to see us...they wouldnt tell us that of course before we needed them......they took 2.5 hours to put down one of our dogs as the vet is incompetent and I had to watch my wife laying on the floor of that practice holding the dog, crying hysterically, wondering why they left us and came back into the room 4 times and put us through 2.5 hours of agony.....Thankfully, this injury, we had a great ER vet service and a real vet now to look after our needs......
I am sure you had/have a great support base for your needs....
Back to the grind tomorrow for me.....

 

[Sunny]

Phil, My deepest condolences on your loss.

 

[Phil Tarman]

Thanks, Sunny (and everyone else). Your support means a lot to me.

 

[wphillips007]

Phil, I'm so so sorry to hear this. It took me a year to get over loosing my wife of 43 years 15 years ago. However, I did go to a grief care 6 week session and it turned out to be a big help to me. They covered many practical aspects of like what to do about special days and holidays, etc, etc. My church family was also a big encouragement and support to me. You do need a support group around you of some type. And of course, without the need to care for my wife, I gradually began doing a lot of fun things that I couldn't do before. I'll continue to be praying for you.
Your Friend, Wendell

 

[Phil Tarman]

Thanks, Wendell. I've talked once to the grief counselor at the hospice where I worked until Joanne started deteriorating. I'm planning on taking one of their care sessions and I've got a couple of clergy groups I'm part of and they have been and will be support. I'm hoping to get some more 2-wheel therapy too. I haven't been on the bike since December of '21.

I appreciate your prayers and support.

 

[DirtFlier]

Phil - be careful on your first few rides because being off the bike for nearly 2-years is a long time. You'll need to build back your muscle memory and survival instincts!

 

[junglejim]

I agree with Tosh. I go through that every spring and every it gets harder as I age. So there are 2 factors involved. Be double careful.